We give to ourselves, and what we give to ourselves is – PEACE OF MIND.
Forgiving someone else does little for them, except temporarily allow them to feel they have now fixed their conscience.
What it does for us is to give to ourselves, the freedom to live life fully, rather than in an inhibited manner. It removes from our consciousness, the need to be wrought with thoughts of our own fears, anger and frustration.
And to heal ourselves from the ongoing results that follow the filling our every area of life with these thoughts.
Forgiveness is absolutely not about saying it is ok, your behaviour is fine, and please do that again.
It is really about saying there but for the Grace of God go I.
Or, if you prefer, there but for the Grace of Life go I.
There is no excuse for bad behaviour or for causing harm to another.
There are however usually reasons unknown to others, and frequently unknown to the one who caused the harm.
These reasons, which are usually, deeply buried to the person, have resulted from either their own experiences, or from an imbalance in the functioning of their own system.
Even when it appears nothing was done to them, they had a wonderful loving family, who took good care of them, and it is their own choice how they behave and now they are now causing harm to another, one is left with why?
Understanding that few people understand themselves, let alone the why of another is how we come to forgiveness.
Let me give you an example. This is nothing disastrous, just about someone judging without understanding.
This occurred about three years ago.
Referring to a pile of assorted stuff I had put into one place, someone asked me why I don’t just throw that rubbish out.
My response was clear. ‘’It is not rubbish it is stuff I have for taking photos’’.
Knowing I am legally blind, she looked at me like I was crazy and said something like ‘oh’ while her body language gave away her thoughts that went to mean: why is she keeping that?
She turned her head to look at it several more times through the visit. Clearly it bothered her.
On the other hand, following my intuition is mostly natural for me, in my life.
When I started to keep things that would look great in photos about five years ago, I did not have a clue why, or even when or how I would take these supposed photos.
All these things, have, nonetheless been kept.
You frequently see them as they show up now in my photos on my pages.
In fact the accompanying photo has several items from those boxes.
Now, I did say it was not a disastrous example, but I myself had no idea when I started to collect these items, why I was guided to do so, what I was collecting them for.
Yes, I was working off intuition, and another may just feel driven.
My own sentence above could read:
‘… but I myself had no idea when I started to collect these items, why I was driven to do so, why I just had to collect them. ‘
That creates no alarm bells in anyone. Although the same sentence about harming another in any way for example is unacceptable, ominous even.
AM I SAYING PEOPLE ARE GUIDED TO BAD BEHAVOUR
No. I am not.
I am saying, we all know nothing about why someone else does something.
THERE IS A
P.S. TO THIS STORY.
Is it when we judge others, we are judging ourselves?
Perhaps life is holding up a mirror for us to see our own worst fears of what we are capable of, or what we have sometimes wished on another.
This friend and her husband haves a four bedroom home with so many cupboards in each area of the house, and they keep saying they are going to have to get rid of things, as all their cupboards are overflowing.So,
Did my pile of stuff make her feel uncomfortable,?
as she saw in herself that she has not gone through and let go of her stuff?
And, she seems to actually be saying that when she talks about getting rid of it, doesn’t she?
Or are we now judging her?
Here is a fun photo with some of my photo treasures
From time to time you may notice typos. I will do my best with editing, however small errors may occur. And I plead for your patience. With early onset Macular Degeneration my choice is to write or not write. I have chosen to write. My books will have an external editor my blogs will be edited by me.No sympathy required, I still live life fully, I merely tell you this in the name of authenticity & transparency.